Living with Adult Children in the Home

Alan & Nancy Cole

From our May/June 2023 FrontLine magazine. Check out our author interview here.

Our American culture has influenced many people to think that eighteen-year-old young people should leave home and go either to college or get a job that will enable them to move out of the house. Not all cultures follow this thinking, and this has not always been the practice in our country.

Picture this: Dad and Mom bring a sweet little baby home from the hospital and begin the process of parenting. The parents ooh and ahh over each milestone the little one conquers and even do a little bragging. Before they know it, the little one begins school and learns many things, conquering more milestones. While these days of parenting are both rewarding and exhausting, the parents keep working with this child through all the growing-up times. Then the day comes to watch the child take off for college, and the parents send the young adult off with pride and tears. Sometimes the young adult leaves home to go to college, and sometimes he or she chooses a college close by or opts to stay home. Regardless of the school situation, the young adult is moving forward toward complete independence. So far so good.

Becoming adults happens in stages. Our sons began working jobs in high school and began the process of juggling school and work and saving for the future. Once they became drivers, they began contributing for car insurance and both purchased their own cars. The older they became, the more responsibility they took on for taking care of their own needs. They continue to work toward a future on their own.